Stop Being…
I guess this all seems silly and pathetic now. I’m going through a weird phase now. I’m not exactly sad, and I actually feel a lot of disgust towards the recent past. I think now I’m just confused how things progressed the way they did. I know it was a long time coming. But I’m scared that two people that clicked so well in the beginning, can have the situation we have now. (Not that there is a situation, but how it all ended.)
I’m worried that I’m going to potentially find someone who I have feelings for like I did you, and we’re going to end up hating each other.
I’m trying to figure out how everyone is so in love, and getting engaged/married, yet we hate each other.
I know it’s just emotions now, not of getting my heart broken, but being pissed about the other things. I’m ashamed to say I really want to forget your existence. I want to talk to/see your family, but I want to pretend you were never born. Generally, I’m one for cherishing memories and the past, but I just can’t with you. I really do wish I could wipe every string of your being out of my head.
Abuse
Remember that time I had a really important doctor’s appointment, and you wouldn’t go with me because it was the day after the election and you wanted to know what Teske was going to say about it?
The opinion of some coked out psychology teacher was more important that supporting me. You know how afraid of hospitals I am.
Why did I let you treat me that way for so long?
Remember all the times you used to scream and humiliate me in public? And when you threatened to “beat the fuck” out of me?
And you have the nerve to blame me for so much. You really did screw with my mind. It’s my fault for accepting it, and you knew I wasn’t strong enough to leave. I thought I needed someone who wouldn’t be there for me, or kiss me, or tell me that they loved me?
You kept treating me like garbage until finally you found someone else who interested you more. I really don’t think you would’ve ended it for good if it weren’t for your new love interest. Word on the street is that she doesn’t want anything to do with you…good.
Your excuse for waiting so long is that you didn’t want to hurt me? Sweet, you didn’t want to break my heart, but you didn’t mind threatening to beat the fuck out of me. Your reason? Because I was repeating myself. Ha …fantastic. You loved your psychology classes, did you not think you were being emotionally abusive? You expect me to say “okay, you broke up with me…cool.”
I should’ve left a long time ago, and that’s my fault, but you should’ve never treated another human being like you treated me.
Just stop already…
“I haven’t blacked out in a week and a half…I have no social life!”
…give me a f*cking break…
Coward
Everything always revolved around you. And now, you tell yourself and other people how good of a friend you are? You need to tell yourself that to feel better. Well you know what? You really aren’t that great of a friend (unless of course that means going out and partying, because you’re wonderful at having a good time). And no, you haven’t kept your word about shit. Your word (which you make out to be this wonderful sacred thing), is only good if you care enough about the other person. You did “give me your word” about stuff, but now since we’re not together, you could care less.
You whine about how much it hurts you to hurt the person you love? If you cared at all, you would be there as a friend. Instead of completely destroying someone and then saying, “oh well, you need to figure it out on your own.” Friends always leave friends out in the cold when they feel lost and emaciated, huh? Yeah, it hurts you to hurt me? Well you’re the douche bag who did it, and let me tell you, it hurts a lot more to be on the receiving end.
Get off your high horse of being such a great guy, because really, you couldn’t give a damn about another person unless you were getting something out of it.
Am I pissed you canceled our relationship online? No…it’s been long enough of you hooking up with people in public that it needed to be done. Did you tell me you would tell me before you were going to do it? Yep. Way to go jack ass.
Am I pissed you hooked up with her and now admit to liking her? Not really. Do I think you’re a dirt bag for telling me you didn’t like her at all, as anything other than a friend? Yep.
How about the party that you didn’t tell me until it was happening? The one that (multiple) people, not just the one I mentioned, had been talking about for days? I’m not mad about you not telling me about it, because honestly I know you didn’t want me there. You tried to cover your ass, but really you just ended up looking like a coward. I’m pissed because you couldn’t grow a pair and say “yes, all of my friends know about the party I’m planning”. Just like your birthday dinner…you didn’t have the balls to say you didn’t want me there. It takes two to get into an argument, and you’re a scared little girl to blame all the shit on me.
You have this way of being so genuine to girls, and making people believe you. Remember the whole “these five words I swear to you, I’ll be there for you” thing. Yeah, I always knew that you were anything except for there for her. You found your new girlfriend and completely left her torn and destroyed. I kinda had it in the back of my mind that if you would do that to her without any problem, you’d probably do the same thing to me, but I believed in you. Ha, big mistake on my part.
